I like all the work you wrote. They are well written, but i couldn't get the flow as poems. I think you could turn these into a very good descriptive text and make it into a story. You could use the poems as the narative and inner thoughts of the characters.
Overall i think brilliant will read more of your work, but my opinion is they don't quite work as a poem format.
John
x
I am new to this whole idea of reading books on-line etc... But I do have to admit I found your poems good and insightful.
Flows well, great examples of poetry I love your descriptions they are spot on. Your poem Silly Nazi hits emotionally which some poets have an extremely hard time connecting to their readers , you do not which is awesome. Your poetry is very relatable like Why? And The New School. I have had all those feelings at one time or another in my life. You have a lot of potential keep it up I look forward to more of your work.
I uploaded your poems to the READING LIST group for you.
I look forward to reading more of your poems. These two are very revealing and tell a great deal about you. You show us your current life - how you have become who you are today. The second poem was a surprise, since Nazis are not something kids today really write about. I am glad you know about that particular horror - and that you continue to write with sensitivity and knowledge. Well done and give us more.
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