I really liked this story and the flow that you achieved...I think that you have an amazing ability to bring the reader along for the journey. I truly believe that you are a master story teller with the ability to inspire,teach,and elevate any reader. I could fill up several books on BookRix lauding your talent...JK would be impressed indeed. Be blessed, Danny...
Oh, my! Thank you! You, sir, have just made my day! Blessing to you, too!
You are more than welcome. Happy writing, Danny....
I loved this story. Perfect example of an epic short story; interesting and well-defined, not elongated with fluff, but still a perfectly good read. Thanks for sharing!
You're most welcome - and thank you for you kind comment! I get lots of people adding my stories to their favorites, but almost never get an accompanying comment or feedback. I really appreciate it, especially coming from a writer of your caliber. ')
I'm glad I could help, and thank you for the compliment. I look forward to reading more of your stories :)
Reminds me of the messages i use to read in my highschool bathroom stall many many moons ago.
Wow - I hope there wasn't a stalker attached to those, too, lol!
I really enjoyed reading this latest book Judy. I am always inspired when reading your work and feel my own writing improves greatly. Be blessed, Danny...
That is high praise indeed - thank you so much! ')
It was a very good short story, with my first read through I only noticed one thing.
“After all, unless this was a freaky unusual store, the clerks weren't the ones making the inventory.” This sentence is good, but “freaky unusual store” really threw me off. It could just be the way the character thinks/talks and you can keep it like this if you like, I just felt the need to point out how much it “disturbed” me. Potentially... Show more
I will, and thank you for the excellent observations! I wrote this in about an hour and a half, and while I edited it for obvious errors, I didn't think too hard about the syntax or style. I'll go back over it, though, and look into smoothing some of those things out that you... Show more
Woah....fast paced and awesome :D
Thank you! I hadn't written a short story for a while, and this seemed like the perfect opportunity, lol.
:D if the blog picks up and if more people send pics, I might do something book related with it as well.
I loved your approach to the wall writing idea. Really makes you think more about why and how people feel the need to write.
I'm 'relieved ' to see we still have folks who come up with original ideas.
This story could have easily gone in so many different directions. Personally ( me liking good endings ), would have adopted this waif.
But, I guess, Patch proved to all of us that just because it is a writing on the wall, it doesn't mean it has to end in something good. Belshazzar met his fate by the words mene, menen tekel upharsin. It sealed his fate.
Ok, it wasn't a bathroom wall, but it was a damning message nevertheless.
It is still interesting how wall writing can have so much power, especially in the context of a story and fate. Maybe that should be a writing prompt for us :)
Thank you! Wow, I really appreciate that! ')