BookRix

Thank you, Dave! Wow! I'm especially glad that you're reading it because I know I can always count on you to be honest, and that's what I need more than anything, my friend.

Oh my, I am starting Chapter nine and already I have an opinion of the work. Reminiscent of Nancy Drew or The Hardy Boys but more the flavor of Enid Blyton and her The Faraway Tree or The Wishing Chair series. Her famous five and secret seven filled us with wonder when I was in school and likewise I find that wonder captured in Judy Colelia's Overcomer- The Journey. I predict these novels of the MacDara Chronicles will be read for generations as with the aforementioned author's works which are still popular with youths in today's academia.

Sadly from this center point on I found myself getting mired in complexity of story plot and of structure, jumping from past to future. I'm afraid my opinion of the novel has been reduced considerably and I finished reading it with relief it was done. My opinion is only one of many so I would not be discouraged by it but seek simplicity in a re-write.

No worries - this is typical of the genre and not everyone likes the use of backstory. What matters is that you took the time to read it. That's gold. Thank you!

First, thank you for your kind observations and feedback - wow! This is book one of an eight-book series, all of which has been written, but only three of which have been published and are for sale on Amazon. I left this one here for free for my BookRix friends, and to get new observations (I can edit it and resubmit the manuscript with corrections, which I'm actually in the process of doing).

About the Celtic culture, I'm half Welsh, my adoptive father and his family is are Irish, and have always adored everything related to the Celts. So all my life I've read books by and about them, about Druids, the origins of Ireland, "The Mabinogion," historical fiction and mythology of the Celtic and Manx peoples. For this series, I used what I already knew and combined it with a great deal of additional research. If you continue reading the series, you find yourself going to a lot of different places in various times, all of which required research on my part to get right. You'll also find out that Cian's extreme good looks have a purpose that has nothing to do with attracting teenage girls to read the story, lol.

Have I mentioned that I love doing research almost as much as I love to write? For instance, I knew very little about Atlanta, have never even been there, but took the time to contact people who worked in the Department of Family and Children to get a full description of their buildings and the city, and studied the laws of the state to see how their foster-care system worked. It was awesome fun!

Okay, now I'm babbling. Anyway, thanks again so VERY much for reading this. I've never read the Percy Jackson book, by the way (shame on me, I suppose), but now I think I'll check it out. Thanks for that, too!

Uh-oh. Which words were misspelled? I really need to know, since this is already published and for sale on Amazon. Because I published through them and it's a POD, I can make changes.

Thanks - I'm delighted you like it! Wow! ')

[Big Hug!]

oh heck, i will have to reread it to remember. don't you have a friend on here that has been helping you? I think they would be better at this than I am. But I will say that I read the other two books and I can't wait to see book 4 and so on. Wonderful work!

I've had one other person who has read them here, and a professional editor also, but neither of them mentioned misspellings. Not that they couldn't exist - it's so easy to miss those darned things.

The original version of this series was published in 2008 through a different publishing company, and the first two books were one very long one. Last year, I did some major re-edits, split it into two books, and re-released it through a different publisher. The second book in the series got a similar overhaul, and is now Books III and IV. The fifth book will probably remain as a single installment, but since I've chanced the POV from omniscient to individual in the first four, I'll make the same changes in Books V, VI, and VII (I'm still working on the eighth and final one) before sending them to the publisher. They were completed long ago, but upon re-reading them, I've seen things that need a little work, based on what I've learned since first writing them.

If you have the time, I'd really appreciate it if you'd try and find those mistakes - I'm an editor myself, and my work-load hasn't allowed me the time to check (how ironic is that?) - but you have me worried. I can't stand the thought that I let something go to print with more than one typo or wrongly spelled word. Yikes!

I'll be posting the fourth book as soon as possible. I need feedback before submitting it to the publisher, so I'm thrilled that you're reading these. It really means a lot - thank you soooo much!

')

Hi Judy,,its been eons since I was on here.. The first thing I did was to post here and let you know I am going to reread this and all in McDara Chronicles! Finally have a pc I can trust to read this comfortably! J' certainly comment as I read then all! :)

You're wonderful, lol. Thank you. You know, the huge irony of this is that Books I and II WERE originally one book, but I was having such a hard time getting readers in my target audience to stick with something over 480 pages, that I decided to split it in half. That's why there's no huge climax or resolution yet. It all happens in Book II. This first installment is an introduction of the characters, and to have too much resolved at the end would have severely detracted from what happens in Book II.

A lot of professional publishers and others in the writing industry who read the original version also recommended that I make it two books instead of one. Not to compare myself with Tolkien (good grief, I'm not anywhere close to him in terms of ability), but he had a similar dilemma. Have you read the Lord of the Rings Trilogy? Because the entire story was originally one huge book, Book I ends with a whimper. It's not until the second one that everything heats up and begins to move at a rapid pace. But even the second book doesn't give a satisfying conclusion. Not until the last one do things get wrapped up in a satisfying way.

I think that in our culture of extreme violence and constant revenge-motivated tales, we look for the worst all the time, and when we don't get it, we're disappointed. For the sake of nostalgia, I watched an old and much loved television series from my childhood, only to find myself outraged at how the bad guys didn't do all the horrible things I thought they should have done - based on the way shows are done today. We've become calloused, I'm afraid, and that's one of the reasons I wrote these books the way I did. I wanted to show that doing bad things is not excusable just because the perpetrator is likable. I wanted young readers to see that decisions bring either results (positive outcomes) or consequences (negative outcomes).

So Cian, Celeste and Katie are the lighter alternative to Harry, Ron and Hermoine. Instead of getting darker, they get lighter. They learn, grow, and become better as a result of difficult beginnings. To be honest, I know from experience that Celeste and Katie are far more realistic than Bella, Hermoine, Katharine (Vampire Diaries), and most of today's so-called heroines. I would much rather my readers relate to people with genuinely good hearts and motives who try harder to do what's right, than with those who become mean, when life kicks them in the head.

That said, you're right. The first book doesn't contain the full plot. The plot of the Overcomer section is completed in Book II. Then, the next section, Defender, brings a continuation of Cian's adventures, so to speak, and new characters are added. In this part, though, we see how deeply his years of torture have affected him, and while he doesn't become evil, he finds himself capable of...well, you'll have to read it. Anyway, I couldn't have Celeste turn out to be even a little bitchy - Cian's already been through too much, and in Book IV, he goes through even more, and this time, a part of him does, indeed, go dark - but he learns to use it for good. That probably sounds contradictory, but it really isn't. He also gets a bunch of awesome powers. Time travel stuff continues and you get a lot of accurate historical info, but before all that, there's Reagan Thompson, who you meet in Book III. All I can say is, keep reading - give it a chance.

I do, in fact, know about 8-point plot structure, as well as a lot of other major, well-established aspects of novel-writing. But in this series, it takes two books to cover it, whereas in most of my other stories, they're all handled in one book. If you want, I can send you the manuscript for a book I'm preparing to have converted to paperback. It's got all those elements you speak of, and you may even find it more satisfying. It's Urban Fiction, and it's called "Soular Eclipse" (nothing to do with vampires). It's a published ebook already, but I'll be glad to let you see the manuscript because you have such awesome insights.

I'm not sure how many changes I could make to Overcomer - The Journey without it costing me an arm and a leg since it's already a published paperback and is on Kindle, but I'm going to give your suggestions a lot of deep thought to see if there's something that applies, and which I can utilize to improve at least the first one. I guess one thing I'd have to be sure to do is make it clear that Book I is only the first half of the Overcomer part of the series. Hmmm. Gotta see how I can do that. Either way, I can see I'll need to rethink some things and figure out how to incorporate some of your excellent ideas and suggestions without compromising the basic premise of why the books were written in the first place.

It's possible Soular Eclipse is available through BookRix, which means you can read the blurb for it here. However, I've redone the whole thing in order to repair my point-of-view treatment. Wait...new post...

I tend to write in the omniscient POV, but I've decided to convert Soular Eclipse to the main character's POV only, while keeping it in the third person. Let me know if you're interested. I realize I've already asked you to read the first three books in the MacDara series, but if you want to stop and check this one out instead, I'd be ever so grateful. Who knows? You might want to go back eventually to see how Cian's situation reaches that high point I didn't get to in the first book, lol.

Let me know. I don't trust just anyone with my manuscripts, but you've become one of my BR friends for real. I can't tell you how much I appreciate all the time you've taken not only to read the book, and then give it some highly intelligent thought, but then to put it all down in a post to help me make it a better story. You deserve a medal and a hug, my dear!

It was (and is) absolutely no problem! For one, I am, first and foremost, a reader. When I decided to begin writing, it was because I already was an literature lover.

As for this book, I still think it should be combined with #2. This is partly because of what I perceive to be the target audience, which I believe is young adult (epic/high?) fantasy with a bit of a modern twist. I, being one of those in the target audience, LOVE lengthy books, especially if it is an epic piece. Hell, my favorite books (one a high fantasy, and the other historical fiction/romance) are over 500 pages! That may just be me, but I also think that nothing (not length, nor anything else) should ever detract with a book being as good as it can be.

I do love the idea of people being good. Because they ARE. But I think that humans, which most of the characters indeed are, tend to have inner turmoil, not always, but at times, especially DURING stressful moments. After it all, it is a good thing to make them better people. :) And clearly, there's a villain in this story, so not everyone is good. You're good on that account.

I forgot to mention before, but when it was revealed that Moloch was the one who "encouraged" Mrs. Pettijohn's actions, it made a whole lot of sense. It's terrifying because it reminds me of the manipulative power of the Devil. (I am religious, so that was my first analogy.)

I have not read the Lord of the Rings Trilogy, but I began The Hobbit, and I didn't like the writing style, so in that regard, you are definitely better than Tolkien to me. (And now I wait for all the die-hard LotR fans to find me and burn me at the stake for my "sacrilegious" words against Tolkien. . . .)

And don't think that the first book has turned me away from the others. :) I am still eager to read them.

As for Soular Eclipse, I was actually already planning on reading it. It was on my list of "Books to Buy," (so was the MacDara Chronicles too), and I was going to buy it as soon as I made some money from art commissions. :)

To sum it up, I think the first two books should be combined, even if it becomes a long book, I LOVE your writing, and I'm already going to add your books to my collection :)

I wouldn't worry too much about the fact that you've already published it. If you take it off the market for revisions, and then republish as a "second edition," you shouldn't have a problem. Or if you combine the books, you could publish it under the name Overcomer, and not have to worry about a second edition. Whatever you decide to do, I am eager to see the outcome :)

I'm glad to have helped. I know more than anyone how hard it is to take criticism of any kind.

On to book II!