Important Post
This one is a bit more well-written than the first one you posted. I'll give you a heart for this story. Your flow is a lot better, your style neater, and your voice louder. Continue on this: I'd like to see where it goes.
Would you mind taking a peek at my own, in exchange? It's rather long and unfinished: If you don't want to read it all, that's fine, but a heart would be appreciated.
Thank You :) Yes, i will as soon as I can!