I like the style of this, it's almost as if it's a true story. I can hear Steve telling the story to a buddy later in life. Well done, enjoyed it very much.
Carol x
- no going back. That was a bad ending which, of course, was the whole point of this contest.
Great job with the emotional teenage swing emotions that make it so easy to make the wrong decision that causes a ripple effect into the outer limits.
Now, John, you can write a love story with a happy ending. You did it here but twisted it about.
Review - I knew you could write, and not just horror. You have captured well a young man's yearning and innocence. Good job in development of this man's struggles in high school. You described well the awkwardness of two teenage lovers, and the things that pull them apart. But best of all you captured the inability of them to get it together. The ending was harsh, but necessary and a good contrast to the reminiscing that went... Show more
And cleverly told.
You have fine cross-over skills... and I say that because, not only have you written a good story here... but you have given little hints here and there that allow it to fit in with the rest of your work.
Genre Schmenre - it's just a good read!
Here's a heart and a vote.
Wow... this is different from what you usually write. But I have to say I liked it. It was like watching a drama movie that incorporated romance and just a tad bit of horror at the end. But not too gory. Very well done. It was beautifully written through the voice of someone who will be forever in love. Sad too. Splendid job!
John...indeed you can write other than horror. This was not so much a "Bad Romance" as it was a tragic romance. While he was on the phone with Norah, I wanted to scream at Steve!
Good job.
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