that was awsome please write more....i still dnt get the whole trunk thing!
Thank you for reading my story. When I originally got kidnapped Tracy was hiding in my trunk and as I was driving I saw him crawling out of the hatchback compartment with a gun. 10 years later he found out where I was living and opened my trunk as a threat to let me know it will never be over.
Hi Joanne,
It's great to see you've spent so much time on this story. There is some repetition you might need to look at within the piece, for example on atleast three paragraphs you've started with, 'by this time'. It's good to try and keep your paragraphs lively and diverse.
This has the feeling of true story telling, where stories were told over a camp fire.
Good luck,
Bek :)
oh wow...i'm sorry you had to go through that...its a really good story though and i might add you wrote it with good detail and piont by piont... :)
Thank you for taking the time to read my story and for your kind words.
Sincerely,
Joanne