Breathing hard, I waited for him to say something. Anything. Because, frankly, the awkward silence was killing me. He seemed to be concentrating on my fingers, which were resting lazily on middle C.
“Well,” I snapped questioninglyavoid adverbs ending in ly my tone one of impatience and anger. This is telling. Instead, something like: I wondered if he could tell I was angry and becoming impatient.
“Well?” (same line) He raised a... Show more
Breathing hard, I waited for him to say something. Anything. Because, frankly, the awkward silence was killing me. He seemed to be concentrating on my fingers, which were resting lazily on middle C.
“Well,” I snapped questioninglyavoid adverbs ending in ly my tone one of impatience and anger. This is telling. Instead, something like: I wondered if he could tell I was angry and becoming impatient.
“Well?” (same line) He raised a dark brow. His green eyes met mine and I tried my hardest not to strangle the smart-ass right out of the kid.
“Andrew,” I cried, throwing my hands up in frustration. He smiled devilishly.
“Yes, Torian?”
His voice had a fake syrupy tone to it that made me wonder if he was mocking me. A wild lock of curly ash blond hair had escaped from behind his ear, and I had half a mind to tuck it back in place.
“You were okay,” he admitted after a few moments, savoring the look of pure disappointment on my face.
“What?! I just poured my heart and soul into that piece and you completely-”
“Terrorized it? Yeah, I know. You were choppy… again. It‘d be okay if you were thinking about putting it into Chainsaw Massacre or Nightmare on Elm Street.”
I growled and rolled my eyes. Of course, degrading me for my piano skills was one thing. Comparing what I thought was a beautiful, melodious piece to the theme song of some stupid thrasher movie was something else completely though.
“I’ve been going at this one piece for-”
“Two hours and thirty-six minutes. I don’t know how many times you’ve screwed up, but it’s probably a new record. You need to slow down- meld the notes together- and listen to the music,” he insisted for the millionth time.
I was considering calling him Polly, for all the times he’d ever repeated himself.
“Break time, please? My fingers are going raw from all that ‘melding’,” I muttered with an eye roll.
Andrew may have been an amazing pianist- he was applying for Julliard in the fall- but he had no actual schedule. It was just practice, practice, practice.
“Fine. But get your skinny ass back here in ten minutes, or I will hunt you down.”
I knew he would stick to his promise and jumped from the old, worn piano bench. Stretching my fingers and limbs, I arched my back to hear the satisfying pop. Andrew shuddered. same line “That’s disgusting,” he frowned,He shook shaking his head as I cracked my knuckles.
I stuck out my tongue and reached for my bottle of water. The slow shuffling of feet outside the door made a chill creep up the back of my neck.
“No, that’s disgusting,” I insisted,I took taking a swig of my water and pointing towards the door. The dragging of feet could be heard from the other side of the music room. Andrew faltered for a moment before nodding solemnly. His sister had been Changed a few years before, before anyone knew what ‘being Changed’ even was.
“I, um… I’ll give you fifteen minutes. I have to fit in lunch,” he mumbled hastily, He gathered his music and nodded at me, before rushing to the door. I blinked as he opened the creaking door it, the slow shuffling of feet even louder than before.
‘You always know the perfect thing to say, huh, Torian,’ I thought to myself as I shook my head and grabbed my sheet music. The clang of the door closing announced my lonesomeness and I considered chasing after him and apologizing, but then I realized I would actually have to apologize. Huffing, I hurried to the door. It swung open with a satisfying creak and I looked around the empty hallway. Nothing. Stepping carefully into the corridor, I looked around for any Changed. None. No dragging feet or low moans.
I smiled and turned the corner, rushing through the halls. I was lucky today. Most of the Changed would loiter in the halls, the smell of death following them. And then there were the Others.
Skittishly, I scampered through the halls, a wave of paranoia setting in. I glanced over my shoulder and heard the scuttle of feet, which only made me quicken my pace. As I turned the corner, making my way to my locker, something grabbed me from behind. I spun around, expecting to see a Changed or even something worse.
Excellent work. I found only a few errors, whic you would do well to go though and make thta adjustment to your technique. Apart from that, I think you've done a good job. Some nice interaction between the two characters and I liked the added suspense.
Well done. Keep going and good luck
Wendy
