Important Post
Important Post
It's a good story idea, however you could use some work with sentence structure, and everything is a bit rushed and messy, making it hard to read. Some editing and it'll be a good story.
P.S. Maybe consider changing the font and making it a bit smaller, too. It'll also help with making the book easier to read after editing.
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Look your book is to jumbled it would confuse the readers the way you have written it
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It was good but, i think you should add more details. Also Uppdatttte, tell me when you do :)
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Important Post
But you need to work on your writing... And mechanics... But great story idea :)