I really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really... Show more
Did you update?
Nope not yet.
Oh, UPDATE!
The story is good for this genre, with a little more substance and fewer cliches than usual. The narrative is well-written, and the story line is solid.
But you really have to put dialogue into separate paragraphs. It was difficult to tell who was talking because you put all of it in the same paragraph. Look at how professional, published books are written (like "Twilight" for instance) and you'll see that there's a hard... Show more
I'm rewriting the whole book. I didn't know what I was doing before. So I need to do more research. Thanks so much. This means so much to me.
You're most welcome. I pretty much started my writing the same way - I had a story idea and could picture it on my inner movie screen, but not all of it was accurate. So I learned the value of research after those flaws were pointed out.
Of course, back then (when dinosaurs... Show more