Important Post
i enjoyed reading this story. it seemed real. it seemed like a story you would read in a magazine, almost like reporting, but in a good way.
-- it made me feel warm, too. i'm from canada, so i know how you feel about the cold!
-- i will surely give this story my vote in the contest. :)
Important Post
The story was interesting but your sentence construction made it difficult to read and make sense of the story. I think the problem might be grammatical structure. You are trying to put too many ideas into each sentence when it might be better to give a sentence to each idea and thought and perhaps scene change. It felt a little disjointed in its depiction of your experiences with your family. With a re-write I think this... Show more
I appreciate your vote, and funny you should say that for it is a true story in fact. Glad to meet another brave soul, the cold only improves character I find, thanks a lot for checking out my writing, I will surely check yours out as well.
Blessed
Heather rose