You're going to continue this, yes? Very well told. I'm sure, since this is the beginning of a new story, you're going to get into editing it later, so I won't go into detail about the issues with tense. The story itself is compelling, its progression paced exactly right, and the mystery that has begun to unfold is tantalizing. So...you're going to continue this, yes?
I'm going to add it to my favorites so I can keep current... Show more
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