Is this all of it? I hope not, it was pretty good. The structure was a bit off but the plot was really good. You should make paragraphs and make the dialogue longer or give more descriptions (Like is the dude a wolf or what?!!! lol really wanna know) and it would flow a lot better. Other than that it was very good. I hope-no- wanna see more :)
~Nina~
THE HALF BLOOD
and the slayer By: Hannah mangan
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Nina Kari