BookRix

I love how you keep the mystery going. Using "the fit lady" as the fulcrum, you keep the reader wanting more. Great continuation!

As far as the grammar and spelling stuff, I'm kind of ignoring that for now so I can concentrate on the quality of the story line. It's stellar so far. The other stuff can be handled later but honestly, a surface edit to smooth out sentences and such like I did in that opening paragraph would take very little effort on the part of an editor, and the result would be a highly sellable book.

I'm looking forward to chapter 4!

Good first chapter! To make the narrative a little smoother, I would recommend restructuring some of the paragraphs. For example:

ORIGINAL: At three in the afternoon, they would have to wait an hour. For the cooling breeze of the Freemantle Doctor to blow in from the Indian ocean.

And bring down the temperature, of this old timber and asbestos dwelling. By opening all the windows and doors, so the Doctor could blow through the house.

EDITED: At three in the afternoon, they would have to wait an hour for the cooling breeze of the Freemantle Doctor to blow in from the Indian Ocean and bring down the temperature of this old timber-and-asbestos dwelling by opening all the windows and doors so the Doctor could blow through the house.

The edited version is one extremely long sentence, so to break it up, you could rearrange a few things:

EDIT #2: Because it was only three in the afternoon, they would have to wait an hour before opening all the windows and doors. Every day at four o'clock, the Freemantle Doctor would blow in from the Indian Ocean, bringing a cooling breeze that would bring down the temperature of this old timber-and-asbestos dwelling.

As you can see, the image remains but it follows a more literary pattern. Of course, this is your story, so what I did was only a suggestion, but I hope it helps. I like your characters already, which is vital when starting a new story.

Moving on to the next chapter now.