Good start, Faith.
You've chosen to open the book (I assume it's novel-length?) with a Prologue. Two things struck me: The first is the perspective from three different points of view. I THINK that's alright. At any rate, it reads well...but as they say, Prologues have their advantages, but also, for the novice writer (especially), dangers. Using both past and present pov is a little jarring. I wondered as I read if perhaps... Show more
Good start, Faith.
You've chosen to open the book (I assume it's novel-length?) with a Prologue. Two things struck me: The first is the perspective from three different points of view. I THINK that's alright. At any rate, it reads well...but as they say, Prologues have their advantages, but also, for the novice writer (especially), dangers. Using both past and present pov is a little jarring. I wondered as I read if perhaps Ruby's opening would have improved the opening scenes if it had been written in present? Or Mom's and Dad's in straight past? Consistency and flow.
The second thing which struck me was: Thematically you're dealing with a dual problem, at least as you introduce the main character. She has not only a rare disease, but to compound that difficulty, seems to be bullied at school. The latter is a problem very current in writing, and you have many avenues by which to explore it in the narrative later on.
Depending on length, how you develop Ruby's character, the narrative, and of course the all-important construction of plot...you have a very relevant story in the making.
Any updates yet? X
Agh, not yet. I'm not on bookrix often. I'll update soon
Same iv been looking around through wattpad but I came back to bookrix to see if the books I have read updated haha
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