You did a nice job telling this tale. I like the prologue and epilogue you used, along with the victim's point of view. I wondered why the kidnapper just left her there. However, you answered that question at the end. I hope you write more mystery tales. You have a knack for it.
An engaging story that draws the reader in. You definitely want to know how the woman got there, who kidnapped her, who else may fall victim. A shame it had to end so soon!
I enjoyed the story but felt there were tiny aspects which when put in place would make the story 100% better.
Rather than being a detective story I'd suggest it as a drama, albeit once already played out.
I felt there needed to be a better link telling the reader who April was phoning, even to the extent April might say "Come on sis, pick up the phone.It's your birthday. Are we gong out or what. And a thank you might be nice... Show more
Thank you for your comments and on a much longer story, I would have put in much more detail like you suggest but for now, it is a very short story.
Evelyn
this story unfolded...will not say more or give away the plot....Paula
Re nmy story. It was only meant to be a short story. I never1st chapter only)
Bluedragon intended going any length with it. Most of my work is/are short stories. I do have three novels going, some of which are in my books (