BookRix

Hey everyone, sorry it took so long to update. I'm in my final year and nothing has ever been more stressful because I have to keep up with the double workload. thanks for being patient.

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Awesome!! I
would love it if you checked out this science fiction story written by me and told me what you think https://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-karen-shiner-deep-breath/

please update. love this

This is a good start to what promises to be a fast-paced, fascinating story! To help you make it better as you work on it, check out other books by famous authors to see how they format dialogue. You'll notice that every time a different person speaks, his or her words, along with the dialogue tags, are in a new paragraph. This makes it much easier for the reader to keep track of who is talking. When all the dialogue is in one, huge paragraph, it's easy to get lost and have to go back several times to figure out what's going on. Also, when the action changes, a new paragraph is necessary for the same reason.

I like your characters - they're three-dimensional and sympathetic, meaning the reader either likes the character or is interested to see what he or she will do next. The dialogue itself, and the thoughts of your main character, are realistic and well-written.

Keep going with this; fix your formatting when you get the chance but otherwise it doesn't need much editing.

A quick word about point of view: when you begin a new chapter and it's from a different character's POV than the previous chapter, you don't need to put the character's name as the heading. The way the person speaks and what is being said and observed will make it obvious whose point of view it is. You might even begin the chapter by including the person's name within the first sentence if appropriate.

Great job - you have a lot of natural ability and a great instinct for story-telling. ')