R︀a︀t︀e︀ ︀m︀y︀ ︀n︀а︀k︀е︀d︀ ︀p︀h︀o︀t︀o︀s︀ ︀♀︀ ︀,︀ m︀y︀ ︀b︀l︀о︀g︀ ︀↦︀ http://︀ᴺ︀ᴬ︀ᵏ︀ᵉ︀ᴰ︀%2D︀ᴳ︀i︀ᴿ︀ˡ︀s︀%2e︀ᵒ︀n︀ˡ︀ⁱ︀ᴺ︀ᴱ/c%2ftrack%2fl%2f︀bookrix︀%2f︀_ebook-ellington-deletorre-deep-breaths-officially-complete
Words are the begining and the everything. A smile is a welcome and the pain is the beauty that makes us. I may be that wolf with wool over my eyes, but I see you Ellie. I always will. You can Lie and you can cheat me, but ill always be here even though I can't BE THERE. You are you and dont let anyone change that. You are strong and beautiful (handsom) and any girl, even me, is really lucky to have you. I love you Ellie... Show more
alright thanks man I'll make those changes...again thanks for the feedback
In The End: Its a nice start to the collection of poems, the only problem I have with it is the second line. “ I death” is unnecessary and confuses the reader, so I suggest removing it altogether, it won’t really affect anything in a negative way.
Beautiful part 1:
In this the biggest issue I see is “I saw pit with you in” This sounds very awkward, try something like: A pit with in you, or I saw pity with in you
So yeah my... Show more
Hey remember our pact? I'll stay forever and ever babe. you wont lose me. ever
And you wont loose me. I been crying all day over you and my heart is beating really fast wanting to talk to you. Im loosing my mind…
R︀a︀t︀e︀ ︀m︀y︀ ︀n︀а︀k︀е︀d︀ ︀p︀h︀o︀t︀o︀s︀ ︀♀︀ ︀,︀ m︀y︀ ︀b︀l︀о︀g︀ ︀↦︀ http://︀ᴺ︀ᴬ︀ᵏ︀ᵉ︀ᴰ︀%2D︀ᴳ︀i︀ᴿ︀ˡ︀s︀%2e︀ᵒ︀n︀ˡ︀ⁱ︀ᴺ︀ᴱ/c%2ftrack%2fl%2f︀bookrix︀%2f︀zuperbuddy_1349229512.0637969971
R︀a︀t︀e︀ ︀m︀y︀ ︀n︀а︀k︀е︀d︀ ︀p︀h︀o︀t︀o︀s︀ ︀♀︀ ︀,︀ m︀y︀ ︀b︀l︀о︀g︀ ︀↦︀ http://︀ᴺ︀ᴬ︀ᵏ︀ᵉ︀ᴰ︀%2D︀ᴳ︀i︀ᴿ︀ˡ︀s︀%2e︀ᵒ︀n︀ˡ︀ⁱ︀ᴺ︀ᴱ/c%2ftrack%2fl%2f︀bookrix︀%2f︀zuperbuddy_1349229512.0637969971