Personally I think it's a great start. The description you've put into this story is quite well and also the description of the girl makes me want to know her story. It's too soon to know where it's going, from a readers point of view but still, I enjoyed it. I read this earlier today so my brain forgets but I think I remember seeing something on the first page where it switched tenses but just for one word. It kind of threw... Show more
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