the lonely

By:
the lonely
There were three of them.

Joshua, Brenna, and Landon. 'The trio,' is what they liked to call themselves. But things aren't always as they seem.

-NOT OFFICIAL COVER. ALL RIGHTS GO TO RESPECTIVE OWNERS-

Posts and Comments
Important Post
J. M. Rivers

I had a feeling of where this was going by how you wrote "he says"

I like it, esp the cover. Nice story tho....

2 Comments
This comment was deleted.
Important Post
gospellover12

This is Emma I hope you'll except my friend request! and your book is really good!!! It's kinda scary but it's the kind of scary that makes you want to read more!

Important Post
Deleted User

Nicely written, Eva.

Pg 3, capitalize the 'he' after "I'm awake."
Pg 4 you need to add a 'y' in 'palms sweaty'. Same page, 'we comes straight back' there's an extra s.
Pg 6 capitalize the 't' of 'the voice says'.
Pg 7 same thing, 'the group advances' and 'the voice is firm' capitalize 't'.

2 Comments
E.K. Perkins

Thank you!

I thought that after dialogue you aren't supposed to capitalize it?

Deleted User

It's true if you put a comma, but you have a period. After a period you need to capitalize. Or change it into a comma.

Important Post
Deleted User

I want to know where did you get an inspiration for this story ? :/

2 Comments
E.K. Perkins

I sent you a PM so that I wouldn't give the plot line away for everyone :)

Deleted User

Okay...got that! :)

Important Post
judycolella

Woah! Fantastic job! Great story, well told, and keeps the reader guessing - thinking - I suspected what this might be about, but wan't sure, and then the end twist, and the discovery that my assumptions were wrong. Woo-hoo! I love it when I get surprised like that by a well-crafted plot twist!

Okay, not saying any more - don't want to spoil it for others. ')

8 Comments | Show Earlier Comments
lazarus67

Judy and I aren't so easy to please (lol)...so, it's you who deserves all the praise.

judycolella

I second that one, Laz!

lazarus67

I just happened on the ending of this story and found it fascinating...so...I reread it from the start. It is thought provoking. It brings you into a world which most of us cannot imagine...well, almost. Enjoyed reading it again.

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