Important Post
Important Post
It's a good story, especially from someone so young. I'm very impressed that you've had a go. I would never have written a story like this when i was thirteen, so well done, you.
On a negative note, you've got way too much dialogue. you need to break it down in the same way you did half way down page 15. That section was described very well.
I like your cover but I would change the dark blue font for something that shows up... Show more