Tina is awful. I hate her. Yet I'm still reading.....
wow. I love it. nice job :3
If blasphemy were in style this story would fit right in. I found it gripping, hard to put down and very 'Stephen King' like. Well done... but there are some inconsistencies. For instance Edward suddenly becomes Leland near the end. (A bit confusing) and it needs a good review of spelling, missed words, etc.
All in all, I liked it. It was original, well organized and read well. Nicely done.
Good read even on the new format. thanks for calling attention to it. Janice
A very endearibg styke of writing...nothing could stop me from reading on...oh ...and it's visual imagery is perfect...a must read book...
I like it a lot. I reminds me of a Stephen King novel, and it did the whole way through. I was suprised when Stephen King was actually mentioned it. The language and content is very dark, and shrouded in mystery. You make your point across very well without being too obvious that this man is not normal. The whole "business" deal is very mysterious, and suspenceful. I want to find out what it is. I am not finished reading it... Show more
I won't forget you. I like it so far. Don't stop writing.
Review - Gritty language for a gritty story. It is unusual and captures the interest. You feel the characters conflict and pain. Your opening creates a lot of questions right away.
Though I'm not fond of the language used, I can see where this fits your character and the circumstances. It will be interesting to see where you take it.
You mentioned writer's block on this, yet you've left it at a very interesting spot. How does... Show more
This is a very original story and that is rare. It would be easier to read if there were more breaks in the text/paragraphs. I'm not sure if the age recomdation is good, but then again I don't have kids, so I don't know what they are reading at what age. Keep going with the story. If this is someone else's cup of tea, they are going to want more of it. It really pulls you in.
thanks
You're welcome :)
it's not even that good tho
No it really is. You are a very good writer I suck at writing haha but continue okay keep you're head up and read all these amazing comment ok haha you are good. :)