BookRix

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Loved the story. Good job.

Whoa!~ talk about an odd couple...

You're a really talented writer!

story is nice, well written, Good job, Good luck, i voted

I agree with the others. You have the genesis for a good story. It's good enough right now for a vote. I voted for you.
Augustus

Great start, just a peice of advice try using a theasaurus on some words might make the sentences flow a bit better. Cant wait for more.

What a bumper-car of ride!

Confusing but nicely told... the way life should be.

Yes, your blurb needs to be shorter and more enticing than, "I'm no good at these things".

It's a fine story and really good jumping off point for a story of length. Your composition and word choice is just right for the subject.

Keep it up.

No really.