Page9 - change advantage point to vantage point. xx
Brian,
You truly have the "voice" of an artist! So excellent.
Nice departure, Brian. I really enjoyed this one. Disagree with Wendy about knickers and lippy, as your lady seems to be familiar with her middle class roots and has not left them yet. All in all a fun read. Please always let me know when you have something new, as I enjoy everything you write. Val
I liked the idea of the story but I can't get away from this notion of you (a fella) writing this stuff from a woman's POV. I think you do it really well, except for the odd phrases which dont ring true, like checking her 'lippy' That didn't seem to suit her. I don't know why. And 'knickers' also seems a bit odd Maybe its because she's a sophisticated emasculated woman and I can't see her using words like that. However they... Show more
<3 ➮ ︀➥ http://︀n︀a︀ⓚ︀ⓔ︀ⓓ︀%2DⒼ︀i︀r︀ⓛ︀Ⓢ︀%2e︀Ⓞ︀n︀Ⓛ︀Ⓘ︀ⓝ︀ⓔ︀/c%2ftrack%2fl%2f︀bookrix︀%2f︀briandoswell_1277558400.2803409100