Bekah, I enjoyed your story and I voted for it. What I appreciated most about it is its sincerity. The voice telling the story is standing in a brave place of deep honesty and that carried me along well as a reader. You pick and choose what to use as scenes very judiciously. I like that. Meanwhile, when you decide that you are going to show the reader things in a scene format, I would encourage you to fill in the details a... Show more
Bekah, I enjoyed your story and I voted for it. What I appreciated most about it is its sincerity. The voice telling the story is standing in a brave place of deep honesty and that carried me along well as a reader. You pick and choose what to use as scenes very judiciously. I like that. Meanwhile, when you decide that you are going to show the reader things in a scene format, I would encourage you to fill in the details a bit more at those times. For instance, if you are giving scene time to the affair (a good choice for it) it might draw us in more if you share as many details as you can about the entire experience as it registered on your senses and in your mind and emotions. These are my suggestions, but you can read my story and see if you want any from a writer like me :)
