Catch Me If You Can

By:
User: Asouthwo
Catch Me If You Can

Lindsay had been abused for 18 years but her parents. One day she finally has had enough. She snaps and the next thing she knows, she's washing her parents blood from her hands. Hurt, alone, and scared Lindsay flees. 

 

Detective Tom Barton has a bad feeling about his newest case. Parents found murdered and their daughter missing. He doesn't know why but this one makes him feel uneasy. He decides the best course of action is to find the missing girl. She could be in danger, or she could be the danger.

 


Posts and Comments
Important Post
Arthur Manly Love

I am new also and tend to check spelling and so on later, trying first to get a flow going. Like at the beginning when Lindsay describes the killing; move the words on to separate lines to give even sharp nastier intakes from the reader. Plan to give the reader a different feeling when getting information from the good and the bad cast.

1 Comment
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Important Post
jeffschanz

So hey! This is the first time I've reviewed anything here (I'm new too), so bear with me and I hope this is more helpful than subjective.
(Bad cop:)I really wasn't expecting much after reading your posts and bio thinking the spelling errors were an indicator of poor craft. (Good cop:)But I was surprised to see that your work had some good feel to it, and definitely has some bite and interest to keep reading. Assuming the... Show more

2 Comments
Asouthwo

Thanks for the advice.

jeffschanz

I always hate trying to critique stuff because it sounds like I believe myself to be an authority. And with my extensive background in publishing doodley-squat, an authority I am not. So, whoever gives you advice, take from it what works for you. (And I'm giving more advice... Show more

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