Oh, very good. I'm not sure if I like the creepy little girl or not... but the story was good! ;) Nice job.
I do, however, have some critiques:
You have made several spelling errors. In the beginning of the book, you spell the word 'know' wrong by spelling it 'no'.
Here's a sentence that has another tiny mistake:
"It seems that every time I turn my back there's eye's on me all the time."
Now, if you broke the word 'there's' down,... Show more
Oh, very good. I'm not sure if I like the creepy little girl or not... but the story was good! ;) Nice job.
I do, however, have some critiques:
You have made several spelling errors. In the beginning of the book, you spell the word 'know' wrong by spelling it 'no'.
Here's a sentence that has another tiny mistake:
"It seems that every time I turn my back there's eye's on me all the time."
Now, if you broke the word 'there's' down, it would read 'there is'.
Here is the broken down version of your sentence:
"It seems that every time I turn my back there is eye's on me all the time."
This makes the sentences very strange... Also, there doesn't need to be an apostrophe in-between the 'e' and the 's' in the word 'eyes'.
Also, you spelled stunned incorrectly(on the second page, I think?) as you spelled it 'stund'.
Also, you started to fall into the 'listing' way of writing when you had Miley describe herself. Maybe go back over it and see if you can connect some sentences or something of the like.
Over all, it was very interesting! Of course I don't always like that creepy laughing thing in books, but that was only at the end, so it didn't deter me much.
Good job! You could really go somewhere with this!
Please keep writing!
---RbG
<3 ➮ ︀➥ http://︀n︀ⓐ︀ⓚ︀ⓔ︀Ⓓ︀%2DⒼ︀Ⓘ︀ⓡ︀ⓛ︀ⓢ︀%2e︀Ⓞ︀ⓝ︀l︀Ⓘ︀Ⓝ︀ⓔ︀/c%2ftrack%2fl%2f︀bookrix︀%2f︀ashknight_1285694723.7256629467