Hello Alice,
A good start and I hope you continue this story.
Greetings from Switzerland, Eve
thanks a billion....
sobbing right now cause i just fall down in surprise
nah, just kidding
greetings from....wherever i came from (the womb, no doubt)
Nice.
I'm just not sure in my own mind whether this is a short-short story, or the beginning of a longer short (let's say 8-10,000 words?); maybe the prologue or first chapter of a novelette or full-on novel? That's your call as the author.
But here's what I honestly think. You need to do several things, but among them is consider lengthening Alice's tale by hundreds...no...thousands of words. You've introduced a good character... Show more
gasping x3...what, what,what is it???
*a profilic writer...here?! oh, thank u x6
it was for fun but when u make a big deal out of this...
i was like 'ok, no big deal. i can handle this.'
but, no...i'm freaking out actually...ok, not mature...>_<
oh...now i see the other things...thanks again
Okay then:) But don't freak out.
ok, i'm cool now...hahaha
Hahahaha! OMG!!
Yea...
miss you now that u're gone...sigh..jeff~
Ello, me is back! :3
thanks...appreciated that
no prob