BookRix

Very nice story. Well written. Very appealing. I like it. A bottle of whisky stuffed inside that turkey brought a change so much!!! Karen, Sheena, Harry nicely depicted characters. congrats for nice story.

dear chris ,thanks for feedback

yes a battle with the typos, and the different conventions in the us and uk over punctuation. sometimes problems arise if it is a story I wrote a while ago and is legacy data transferred from an older computer when upgrading.
merry christmas, wildgoose

thanks goodluck lady,
wildgoose

dear sereni, thanks for feedback.

"xmas" was deliberately used to help
create the feelings of impoverishment
as xmas, I also think ,is an impoverished word.

yep also at this level not all are master chefs, some people just stick things in the oven and yes,would you believe, this is based on a true story!! Kind regards,and merry christmas wildgoose

There are a few minor typos, but nothing that spoils the flow of the story. Thanks for sharing.

A Christmas Tale

I enjoyed reading your story very much, John. It tells of the true meaning of Christmas; the giving spirit so that all may celebrate and enjoy the holiday. Even when things take a turn for the worse there is still hope.

Page6: There were a few problems for me when I came across words that I had to stop and look up, such as “twigged” (which I found means understand, or perceive). I think if you were strictly writing for a British audience this would not be a problem, but to have to stop and look up a word several times might make your reader decide not to go any farther. At the end of your story you explained Sally Ann, but while reading the story it is just a woman’s name. It might be helpful to put a little note at the beginning explaining Sally Ann. Lower down on page 6 you use the word “scarpered” (meaning escape). You might want to use the more common words here so everyone can understand.

The fact that you used the word xmas was like hearing fingers scratching on a chalk board to me.

I know this is fiction, but regarding plot, I found it hard to believe that she would put the turkey in the oven without checking the stuffing! I even polled a few friends, men and women, and most of them said they would certainly check the inside or the stuffing.

Overall I found your book very entertaining, and I enjoyed your writing and hope to read more of your work.

First, thanks to "Sereni" for turning me on to this story.

Second, I am so excited to read work written in the British vernacular...it makes me feel homesick for the North of England, where I was born.

Charming story with a "voice" I can definitely relate to. I shall take a break from reading the flash fiction entries, and just start reading yours. Welcome to Bookrix.