BookRix

Well it seems like you have a good story to work with. The diary threw me for a moment but I realized it's necc. to introduce the characters and places . The plot strikes me as a mash up of Hunger games and Divergent...maybe consider working in some more details to make the plot more unigue. It's an interesting read for people int hat kind of reading. Thank you for your time. Please take the time to read one of my open books and return the advice.

For in depth critiques, you either need to e-mail it to people or use Google Docs and send the link to those interested to critique the story. 'Cause on Google docs it's easier to edit than on here.

"Good morning , Bethie,(comma not period)" Ani whispered.

You have a 'She said' after a comma capitalized and needs to be fixed.

Also: 'How are you, Mother' needs to be capital letter here 'cause you're using the 'Mother' here instead of a name. When you place possessive adjectives in front of it: my, his, her mother, then it's small letter.

In this I may be biased since I hate prologues, but yours looks like an info dump which can easily be showed in the story instead of that diary entry.