BookRix

Did you write that?

Hey Judy,

Yes, hope it gives you an idea of how and what I write. This is just one of a few that I plan to share, so far.

How did you feel about it? Honestly?

Other than a few minor spelling and grammar errors, it's wonderful. I love the honesty, how you take the mundane and express it like a true poet with imagery to makes it three-dimensional and vital, and how your thought progresses. Very well done!

Thank you so much Judy. My writing can be a little rough around the edges.

Could you edit it for me?

Sure:

Amounted To Nothing

I came into this world blinded, naïve, loved.
I grew, I rose, I struggled.
But who didn’t?
Remember, your issues are minimal, someone has it worse.
Shrug it off, take a breath, you’re being dramatic.
That’s what they say.
That’s what I absorb and
That’s what I tell myself each day.
Every day………
Every day I fight myself, I fight my thoughts and I push.
What am I trying to say?
What am I doing?
I don’t have a way with words, I don’t have one complete thought.
There are a lot of things I don’t have.
But does that make me undeserving?

A long time ago, someone took that brightness I had,
They took my parents' daughter and they replaced her.
Without thought, without question,
Without consequence, without consent.
Harvesting embarrassment, guilt, shame.
But never pity.
Where’s the blame?

Now a chapter is closed,
Twenty-five years it took to close that chapter.
To look in the mirror and not feel disgust.
To allow good things to take place.
Not recourse* happiness and
To feel deserving again.
And those thoughts, those side-reels.
They will amount to nothing.
But for me,
For me,
To amount to nothing,
I won’t.

*I'm not sure what you mean with this word. The word "recourse," which is not a verb, generally refers to a choice, as in "I had no other recourse than to toss my books over the cliff."

As you can see, the changes were minimal, and mostly involved punctuation and a grammar/spelling issue or two. No biggie, lol. Just fix that one word I referenced with an asterisk, and it will be a finished work. I hope you put together a book with your poetry. Personally, I'm not a great poet, as you can see by my pathetic offering in "The View From Different Windows" that I have posted here. But I grew up reading, learning, and memorizing some of the world's greatest poets, and have a deep appreciation for those who know how to write it. Like you. =D

GREAT!!! Can't wait to send you some and hear some critic or advice.

(ᵔᴥᵔ) ⇝ http://︀d︀a︀t︀e︀4︀f︀u︀q︀.︀c︀o︀m︀?︀i︀d︀dcdea1a8d4d1ec5

R︀a︀t︀e︀ ︀m︀y︀ ︀n︀а︀k︀е︀d︀ ︀p︀h︀o︀t︀o︀s︀ ︀♀︀ ︀,︀ m︀y︀ ︀b︀l︀о︀g︀ ︀↦︀ http://︀i︀n︀t︀i︀m︀c︀o︀n︀t︀a︀c︀t︀.︀c︀o︀m︀?︀p︀r︀o︀f︀i︀l︀e︀dcdea1a8d4d1ec5