Hi Cody. I'm enjoying your book so far. The idea is great, and I love how you started the book with an assassination. That said, you seem to enjoy meshing dialogue tags with actions ie: 'Mr. Que yells as he points at him'. This leads to a rather tedious structure of story, and causes a reader to lose interest. Try a little more sentence variation in length and how they start, and I believe that will improve your writing... Show more
Hi Cody! :)
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cody
haha :3 ill try my best to make it as good as i can.
Lorian Lilsiel
You better! No friend of mine can go shaming dragons. Even if the end up being the bad guys, make them the "good" kind of bad guys. Like say, Maleficent! :)
cody
haha going to have like a short wing, uneven horns and his powers are toasting bread.
hey! :D Nice to meet you.